quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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