So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
