We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize