I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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