Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
