dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
