We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize