It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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