do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
