That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
