two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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