ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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