Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize