come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
