If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
