so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
