Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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