so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
