I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
