Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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