ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
