I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
