Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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