it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I want a musical about memes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
