I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
