Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
