So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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