If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
