R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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