Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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