Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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