2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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