i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
