I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
