Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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