how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I believe in your delicious
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
