Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
