Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
