so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
