Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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