Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
