she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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