i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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