Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize