one word: firstdatebathroomanal
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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