Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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