There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
