I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize