Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
