i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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