your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
