of course. lets lasso hookers.
So many bounce houses so little time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
