Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize