is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
being pregnant is like rehab
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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