There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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