I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
