I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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