Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
