Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
