We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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