Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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