You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's never too late to be topless.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
