What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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