atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She even gives head with a lisp.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
