I'm so fucking centered right now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
