well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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